Organized Chaos

I know anyone can relate in this story…

On my 16^th birthday, my mom bestowed a gift for me…a Nokia 3310 cellular phone. I’m so glad because my dream to have a cellphone is now granted. That was the 1^st mobile phone I possessed.

Being a Martian on this stuff, I just read the entire manual reference included on its box, for me to evaluate the functions and uses of each keys stuck there… And at last, I am proud to say that now I know how to use cellphone… Weee!

So I began giving my number to all my cliques, relatives, and bla-bla-bla… Then one time, my phone began to beep. There was a new message but I don’t know where it came from because the contact number doesn’t exist in my phonebook… Still, I read it.

…hi can u be my txtm8? u don’t know me, neither i…

want to hav sum frendz, hope we can be… -billy ☺

I offered a response and that’s the day when the best thing of my life started. I found out that I like him, perhaps, I am falling for him. Days, weeks and months passed and I felt like I’m always longing for his text. It’s kinda absurd to me because we never knew each other’s faces. What we have is just a linkage behind our keypads.

He became my inspiration and strength. We felt the same way. We love each other in spite of the thing that we didn’t go through the prerequisite stage that should be bypass. But still, I can’t control my emotion. There is Billy, there is me, therefore, there should be us…

Distance apart me from him but it seems that a thousand miles separating us really doesn’t matter. As long as there is love and trust to one another, you’ll create a robust relationship that will never be shipwrecked.

Every morning, our routine was exchanging sweet messages to each other until the break of dawn. This is one of the reasons why I bear a smile always. Loving him makes me beautiful.

How I remember the very first time he sent me a message. I never thought that this anonymous guy I’ve come to known will be my life, Billy is the Earth that holds me and the air that enables me to breathe.

And the day that we are anticipating had take place. It was our anniversary and he asked me if it’s alright if we will have a rendezvous on this very day. Then I decide to do it. I was very nervous and felt uneasy. I don’t know what to expect for.

I went on-time in our meeting place. He said that he’ll be late for a minute because his location was too distant away from here in Manila. I said that I’m wearing a yellow shirt and he told me that he’s in blue polo shirt.

All of a sudden, a guy approached me if I was the girl he’s looking for. The moment I was about to look at his face, I was astonished and stunned! Oh my! He is the ideal man of my thoughts. He is tall, white and really handsome. I can’t look on his eyes. I felt frozen and deadened.

This is really unexpected. I thought he was just a typical guy that I imagined. Then now, I’m in front of him. Very obnoxious and simple, I’m just like this! Nothing to be proud of…

And we separate our way back to home, with no sweet moments to be kept. It was just like nothing. Null and void. I didn’t feel the Billy I knew when we text. He was different from the guy I extremely love… Am I this ugly to be ignored?

Since then, I never received any message from him. I wait patiently. I didn’t initiate to do so. I’m filled with pride, hoping that he will miss me, hoping that he still loves me. I feel redundant and rejected. I’m tired of waiting… I’m weak with this life…

The cheerful days I had before been suddenly turned into heartache. I regret of loving him that much. This cellphone was a mess!!! This is the reason why I am suffering from anguish and sorrow. This is the effect of my stupid emotion. How I wish that my mom didn’t gave me a gift like this, a gift that is just a temporary source of my happiness.

I don’t want to take a glimpse on this phone anymore. I’m traumatized to use this stuff, I’m afraid to fall in love again. So I decided to throw this thing somewhere I would not see it over again. Plop! It was gone! I throw all the selfish memories that made me suffer until now. So today, I’m medicating myself from this ill I’ve got from nowhere. I run and hide from the frustration that makes me incomplete.

Lesson? Don’t ever love a person when you just met him/her by your “cellphone”. Beware of falling in love to strangers. Control it! You may feel loved and appreciated on the first place, but in the end? You’ll feel unused and injured… So neglect it., and you’ll never regret… ☺☺☺

Watch out for your cellphone… Hmmm…